Jacob M. Appel Quotes
I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....
Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.
Maybe that is the greatest of wonders: that we can be shaped so much by those we've known closely, a...
Show MoreMaybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiti...
Show MoreThe only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuadin...
Show MoreIf God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.
The most dangerous ideas are not those that challenge the status quo. The most dangerous ideas are t...
Show MoreA century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individu...
Show MoreKnow your load. That’s rule numero uno in this business, which is why I make them count the penguins...
Show MoreThat was the heart of the problem: every choice made sense from some vantage point.
Patriotism is being convinced your country is better because you were born in it.
Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting ...
Show MoreLife is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.
Starshine’s greatest challenge is deciding whether a woman is too young to soothe or too old to sham...
Show MoreBattery Park resonates with lust as the sun approaches its zenith. A primal impulse takes hold of th...
Show MoreNothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.
The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.
If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men peni...
Show MoreNixon’s offences had been so long in the past, so much part of a different era that he now seemed li...
Show MoreArnold had never given much thought to whether or not he loved America—but now it seemed pretty obvi...
Show MoreTo the bankrupt poet, to the jilted lover, to anyone who yearns to elude the doubt within and the di...
Show MoreThis is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to...
Show MoreSuch is the demographic paradox of a junior physician's relationship with his patients: I worry abou...
Show MoreChoose old people for enemies. They die. You win.
Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history.
